Yeah...about that "wait"...
I got itchy and decided I'd upload the whole comic :D I had a hard time getting the files (and I wanted to wait until I had permission to post them), but here they are!
Again: this was done over a year ago for a yet-unpublished Anthology called Seasons (to be published sometime soon by Sofawolf press...updates will follow!)
This was done at around the same time as Piper's Pet, and it was a source of some frustration to me at the time that Piper is a better comic, even though it was comparatively less work. This was done first, so at least I'm...learning? But for my own sanity: this is OLD. I make better now! I promise!
All I can see now are the flaws. I do realize that it is narratively broken beyond all sense. I ambitiously wanted to do this silently (no words), but see if you can guess what's going on! I posit you cannot!
Points for anyone who gets this without the 'spoiler's at the end of this post :p
I will gladly receive any critiques on the storytelling, since I want to make sure moving forward I work out all the kinks! This probably won't change, but it's useful feedback for the future. Lay it on me.
I'm considering adding text, but I'm afraid it would be too much an afterthought.
Still, I'm glad I did it. It was a good learning experience.
And in unfancified prose, the plot is thus:
A repentant mouse warrior returns from the war with his most regrettable casualty: a small child. He feels he must return the child to her father, but the horror of what he has done doesn't hit home until he see's her father's face. He casts down his sword in a solemn vow to never fight again, and instead of retribution he is met with forgiveness; a chance to start again. Simple enough.
Even typing that out I'm realizing how obscure some of the paneling is. Better next time!
Hope you like it anyways,
Cheers!
-n
12 comments:
Well, it is a bit unclear, ahaha, but I enjoyed it all the same, in all honesty. I think your beautiful drawings and colors make up for it, at least this time.
I thought, at the beggining, that the warrior was somekind of a Dumbledore and had come to hand the child to a family of its same specie. Idk, I thought there was more to the necklace than an emotional bond, as if it was magical, but no.
I really didn't see why he had to kill the child, apart from being ordered to, and seeing no emotion while he was about to do it made it quite difficult to understand why he'd feel so bad about it in the end. There must've been something that showed us what made him change his mind, something that would allow us, and the father, to forgive him, because I really don't get why would the father do that, x)
Anyway, that was my input as a "reader", hope it helps next time 8D
I think that what is unclear is the moment of his regret, and what he was before. Maybe he should show more his face, before a bad or arrogant face, then, really sad. Maybe some tear, or he with his knees in the floor... to may typical, right?
Anyway, I can feel more with this story than with Piper's Pet. I like both, but this have arrived to my heart.
i also love your drawing and coloring. apologize my crappy english
I agree with the previous comments. Sure you could (and you can) do better with some panels but the beauty of them compensates largely. I mean the ambience and feeling is very clear and touching, the only thing that puzzled me was exactly why he killed that particular child, and also the apparent strong significance of the necklaces; father and child are already recognizable, the necklaces add some nice lights but otherwise can be a bit confusing (at the beginning I thought the mouse and the father belonged to some kind of "Order" and the mouse had failed to protect the child, or had completed some mission -whatever it was- but regretting it).
Anyway, I liked it as it is, but I'm dying to see something more recent! Cheers and good luck!
-E
Beautiful work!!
I got the story alright~ and it's really really beautifully painted!
I love the moment the father forgives him, and how when he wakes up time seems to have flew by and the world is suddenly brighter =D
amazing!!
Beautiful and amazing work...very breathtaking.
I thought it was beautifully drawn, lovely use of cold and warm colors to express emotion. The story was a bit unclear until I read your synopsis and then I went back and looked again, this time everything made sense. Probably a bit of dialogue might help...
Anyways, as usual, I adore your work!
-Vera
At first, it looked like the mouse was delivering an orphan baby, but when I read the description, I realized it was dead (to clear up some confusion, it would've been easier to realize it was a body if the head wasn't showing- the necklace needed to be brighter in the murder scene too).
hmm... it needed more "connective" panels or clearer Emotion in the character's faces (which was hard, in this case, because you were drawing animals).
BUT- You definitely have a gift. Keep pushing your limits to learn because what you have already done is Amazing. :)
dude, the comic is looking really really good. How you doing, lately?
its awesome painting and style.
http://alhasnawi.blogspot.com/
I got it after I read the whole thing. :) I thought it was absolutely beautiful, I was very touched. The forgiveness represented is beautiful, it seems it is almost a spiritual metaphor. (Is is a spiritual metaphor?)
Your artwork is amazing, as I'm sure you know, but I can see that you also have a mind that knows beauty in other things as well. Your work touched me greatly, I hope you go on to make much more. :)
Hey! I'm aware that I'm two years late ... but I just wanted to say that I think the comic read quite well, and I didn't really have any problem understanding that the child was dead, and that he promised not to fight again when stomping the sword into the ground.
The illustrations are very inspiring, and the colouring as well. I hope I will be able to draw like you one day!
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