Five Places and ICON7

I just got back home from the ICON7 conference.

It was an amazing time- I left feeling humbled, inspired, and reinvigorated about art in general. 

It's easy as an artist and a professional to forget why we're doing this in the first place- to get lost in the woods. Being at ICON helped me realize a lot of what I'd been neglecting or forgetting. Working as a professional artist on a big project can be fun and can be immensely satisfying- it's wonderful to solve visual problems and collaborate with other talented colleagues- but it can also be draining.
The one thing that matters, to me, the most about making art is the one thing that is least valued at a large studio- personal meaning.
Why make art if it's not meaningful? Human? Honest? True?
Somehow it's easy to lose sight of that very important thing- "make art that means something to you".

There were so many highlights- Lynda Barry (a singularly amazing lady) talked about how making art and taking it in is as much a need as any other human urge. That we work out our own lives by watching other people work theirs out through art. "Don't be too cool, you're all gonna die".
Starlee Kine talked about breakups and Phil Collins, and how important it is to tell the story you're living. John Cuneo, Marcellus Hall, and Jillian Tamaki walked through their sketchbooks and talked about sketching to make mistakes and find release (I haven't stopped sketching since!), and Esther Pearl Watson talked about her grandfather and living in the in-between.

I kept hearing this piece of advice from other artists at the conference that I've even given out myself-

"Make the art you want to make. Make the art you NEED to make. Fill your portfolio with up with it. Then you'll find that people will pay you to do what you love."

And other iterations- "Loosen up, stop pressuring yourself trying to guess what it is that people want to see. Make the art you love to make"

It takes a leap of faith, doing that. Trying that. And leaps of faith are the scariest, and they'd never be worth it except for the "joy set before [us]". If this all sounds a little like I'm rehashing a sermon as much as portfolio advice, then maybe something is going terrifically right.

I made some new friends and saw some amazing art. I feel like I'm still spinning with all of it. Thank you, ICON.

---

All in all, this has been a truly bittersweet time.
Sometimes you can't wait to get up and start drawing- sometimes it's difficult to even get out of bed and face the day.
I just got back from Michigan last weekend, visiting with my family after the passing of my grandpa. I really have yet to process fully through all that it means. That (among other things) has been chasing me around my own heart and I think it's time I let it catch up. Drawing helps.

He was the artist two generations before me, who kept on painting despite his disability. I think he would want me to do the same- keep working, despite the what life throws your way. Make good art.
Starlee Kine spoke about that- telling the stories that are in your heart to tell, however painful. Especially when they're painful. I hope you'll all bear with me. There's lots to tell.

To that end. Neil Gaiman had some really encouraging words to say at the end of this. 

 Despite it all- loss of job, love, and family- the big questions and the looming doubts, insecurities, longings and sundry- summer is here.
And there's something about that feeling- something in the sun and the wind and the speed and the freedom of it all that can't be suppressed. We are still blessed- richly and lovingly. Hallelujah anyways.

'Graceland' was on the radio.

love,

-n

Commissions! Round 1

Hey guys!

I've been plugging away on commissioned work this week- trying to finish as much of the work that Deviantart so generously bestowed upon me as I can! I am so blessed to have such a supportive community of internet-fans...I'm really having fun doing these commissions, and they're really helping me pay the bills. So thanks, guys!

This one's for Kayla, and she gave me a nice open-ended prompt. All she had to be was blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and be able to manipulate shadows. So I ran with it! I'm trying to take every prompt and complete it in such a way that it fills the request as well as my desire to be doing more work in this style and tone for my portfolio. Win win!

Stylistically (no lines! textured edges!) this is all new to me, but it pulls from a lot of what I was learning at 38 towards the end. It's a LOT of fun to do. I hope you guys like it, because I'm going to be messing with it a little more as I go forward.

Below is a process shot- with this piece, I had a very different lady designed yesterday and woke up today with the sense that it just wasn't working/the sort of thing I wanted to draw. So I did the rightmost doodle and immediately liked it better. Go figure.

These two headshots were for Immi and Jamie, respectively. They were done in exchange for buying me a Deviantart subscription. Thanks, guys!

Lots to write, draw, and process. I'll be back soon. That's all for now!

-n

This Actually Just Happened

I made a little slice-of-life comic! I liked making it!
grrr, blogger won't let me post these at a legible size...

full-size image pages are here:

Page 1

Page 2

It's a business, let's all treat it like one!

Names and emails have been altered slightly for brevity and effect.
But you'd be surprised how much is verbatim.

-n

Hallelujah Anyways.

Well- wow.
Um...hi.

I've been putting off writing anything on here for a variety of reasons. Mostly I keep psyching myself out and assuming I need to really have something substantial to offer before I can start typing. But that kind of logic lands you right here, with no posts in over two months.

So here I am and I hardly know where to start. It's not every day that your life kind of comes crashing down around you. I don't mean to be melodramatic, but I know I have a tendency to be anyways- and since this is my blog, I hope you'll indulge me.
But really so much has changed in such a short time, and so much is still changing.

There's been a tremendous amount of personal upheaval, which I'll not go into here, but there's also been the very public disintegration of my workplace. The gist is neatly summed up in the opening sentence of this Boston Globe article.

The upshot is: I'm out of a dayjob.

We were working on something really and truly very beautiful at 38 Studios. And for all the politics and financial controversy surrounding this debacle- all I really care about is that a dream is dying. Something we all invested in, and really threw our hearts into. Things I hoped would eventually be experienced by the public at large may now never see the light of day, and a group of friends that I've worked with for the last 3 years is dispersing to the four corners of the globe.
I don't know how better to eulogize the project or the team than to let the footage roll:



And that's only a tiny, hastily assembled and outdated fraction of what we were working on.
Maybe I'll eat these words and all this really won't spell the end for Project Copernicus. I'd say it still has a fighting chance of living on in some form. But it seems the practical and true thing to say that my time working on it has come to a close. It was just a little over a year ago that I wished Providence a "hello again" from this same blog. Well, it looks like, for the time being at least, I'll be saying a "goodbye again" instead.
Reading that old post, the past year has been many of the things I had hoped for, and some things I never could have expected in my wildest dreams. It has been an incredible year- one of the happiest of my life. One of the hardest of my life.
And, like all such years and every new day- it is coming to a close.
All the friends I have known and loved from school are graduating, all my friends from work are moving on, and even I am headed back to my parents for the foreseeable future. Washing out in one big tide.

It's kind of bittersweet that this is all taking place at exactly the same time so many are graduating and contemplating the same big questions we all (the remnants of 38) are. There's a sense of solidarity in that- my heart goes out to anyone feeling a little lost at sea right now. I'm right there with you.

The confluence of recent events has left me with the lyric from Closing Time running laps around my head: "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end". Trite, but true. But I am encouraged by the lyrics of another song, with a very particular history- "it is well with my soul"

The Lord gives and he takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

But there is hope in every such ending. A new year begins, a new day dawns, and a new season brings new promise to the earth. Tally Hall said "there's a storm for every spring", Tolkien called it eucatastrophe, and John 12:24 puts it this way: "unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

It can be so difficult to find the silver lining sometimes, but there is so many who witness to the fact that it's there- in much harder circumstances than these. So there it is. This is an opportunity for a fresh start. A new dream.

In the short term, I have to look towards salvaging what my foolish financial irresponsibility has landed me in. In the longer term- I'm thinking about a few new things. And, very tentatively, I'm starting to get really excited.

To that end, I'm stepping my game up again. It's time to dust off the old resume, rearrange my portfolio, and get back online. Re-up my digital presence. I have some links to show you- please throw all your love and hitcounts their way:

My shiny new portfolio and resume are here:
nicholaskole.daportfolio.com/
(more work available to show on request)

I've been posting my commission status on my deviantart page, here:

nicholaskole.deviantart.com

My fancy pants LinkedIn Account is here:
linkedin.com/in/nicholaskole

My shiny new Twitter account is here. Yes, I have one of those now. :p
twitter.com/fromhappyrock
(I left facebook and had status withdrawal)

And I have some prints to move, so my new online BigCartel shop for those is here:
nicholaskole.bigcartel.com/
(seriously, buy some prints! I gotta get rid of these :p)

I would truly appreciate any and all support you can give. Right now, I am in the market for freelance work- and I'm hearing out all projects. If you have work, or have heard of work that might be up my alley- let me know! nkole@g.risd.edu is the best place to reach me.
I have some exciting things brewing, and some ideas. Watch this space- it's going to get real around here :)

May God bless and hold you, wherever you are.

Love,

-n

Jellybots: Twist

The villain of the piece.

In two flavors!

I couldn't shake the fact that I like really loud pink, so I figured I'd toss it up, too :p

I finally made him! He's been rattling around my head for ages.
Just the fact that I did ANY personal work that kept me up till 3 is a big deal. It's been a while!
It's...bittersweet for a variety of reasons. Let's just say I have a lot more time on my hands, and icky-goo is therapeutic.
I'm still keeping information on Jbots pretty quiet, so there's not much I'm going to give you guys about this one. I'm pretty sure that's only a placeholder name. I've toyed with a few...Inkling, Shift, Spectrum, 99, Legion...? Thoughts, anyone?

I've been wrestling with finding my villain for a long time, which is what's been blocking me from doing any Jbots work. But a things fell into place, and I think, at least for the time being, I've got him where I want him.
It's strange how these things happen- a car ride, a few sit-down and sketch sessions, the right song, mood, and the time. The other bots are based on friends of mine. This one's...kind of a self-portrait.
Florence and The Machine can take some credit.

I have a lot of iterations and variations in mind- hopefully it's obvious that his suit is pretty malleable, so he'll be changing shape quite a bit. Well...you'll see.
He's a bit of a trickster. His masks change color and shape, subdividing and flitting around his suit like a school of electric fish. He speaks through them, picking a proxy to fit his preferred tone and emotion. A face for every occasion.

I'm really grateful to have found my footing again re: Jellybots.
Things in that sense have started to pick up again. I've been tossing around ideas and art styles...speaking to some friends. The thought of pixel-art (my age-old mistress) and I had to do something with it. So I tried a quick little Biin :)

Even cuter in tiny squares!

I was going to try my hand at animating her, but then I realized I'm terrible at that. :p

And speaking of Biin! I wanted to show you guys this. It was made for me by one of the better human beings on the planet. It's a stuffed Biin plushie!

Kind of mega-exciting to see a character design turn into something huggable.

One of the greatest gifts of...ever:

MONETIZE IT! -_-

Things at work are intense, and I have my hands very, very full there. Which is not likely to change any time soon. It is both exhilarating and exhausting. But at least that part of my world is holding together. For all the other things, there's Bombay Bicycle Club. (the soundtrack to a ray of hope. I've been repeat-1ing this track for, literally, DAYS.)

IN THE MY-FRIENDS NEWS:
My best friend Lizzie Moonface has a Kickstarter project she's trying to get off the ground. She's quite close, but she could use the extra push! If you would like to see THIS photographer:

make more beautiful work, or if you love fairies, or pretty ladies, or just generally have a lot of disposable income and you like me and want my friends to succeed, then please CLICK HERE and toss a few dollars her way to make her book happen! ^_^
Oh, and her real name is Liz Mooney. And if you like her work, you should follow her blog here.

In conclusion, at work we had a meeting. During which I drew an emotional map of me (that day). I am not always this maudlin, but for honesty purposes and because it may be worth a chuckle:

my blog, my face, my rules.

I love you guys for reading and giving me a reason to post. I covet your comments, and read them again and again to make myself feel better about myself, so send em on over :p

A little bit of Psalm 19 to add a little actual beauty to this blog:

"The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world."

Much love,

-n

Two Weeks.

Hi all-

I've been drawing again, and I thought I ought to upload a few doodles from the last two weeks, just to keep this thing going. I know you're used to me jabbering for pages and pages- sometimes I actually run out of words. Likely I'll have more later. For now- some sketches.

Some seasons are hard seasons.

God still makes all things beautiful. That might mean me too, time will tell.

More soon,

-n

LOTR, D&D, and KOA:R - Two Months of Fantasy Acronyms

My girlfriend was bitten by a dog, on her hand. I passed out twice.
It's a long story... -_-

Hi Guys! Still not dead!
It has been an incredibly busy few months-
I'm not even sure where to start. So much has happened, and none of it has been blogging :/

I suppose I should apologize for my long absence and lack of content- I'm truly sorry I've been so missing from the web.

Things are kicking into high-gear at 38 Studios with the project I'm working on and I've been obliged to spend any free art time at the office keeping up with the pace of crunch-time at a video game studio!
The big news around here is that we launched our first game! Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning is out! and it's been reviewed! Which is thrilling news for us at 38.

It's not the game I've been working on per-se, but it is set in the same world, and I do have a design or two that made it into reckoning in a kind of round-about way :)
So...if you see one of these...

An Aurochs

Then slay it for me! ^_^ or maybe take a better screenshot? haha. It's a really minor ambient bull-type creature. But it's SUPER neat to see my first real creature design in my first real video game! I drew it, and my roommate Brandon sculpted it and it somehow snuck on in there!

Anyways, just about as notably. Felicia Day played our game. O_O I watched it happen live, spellbound. PICS BECAUSE IT HAPPENED!

LOOK THERE SHE IS!

And there's more! Amalur.com is up, and there are all kinds of hidden goodies and information about the world of Amalur to find. Among them are the racial pages for the:

and the...

I didn't do those paintings! (done my incredibly talented coworker, Devon) but they are based on my designs for both races (costume, face, hair design etc) which is super exciting! (if a little confusing, sorry :p)
But that is probably my absolute favorite part of my job- getting to conceptually develop the different cultural aspects and queues for fictional fantasy races. Trying to work towards something iconic and original, but still playing on classic fantasy-types. It's a blast. The light elves in particular were one of my baby-races. Maybe sometime in the future I'll be cleared to show you guys some of the concept work that went into these!

So we've been pretty giddy around here about all of that. But my job is still only beginning, and there's even more exciting stuff coming up from us in the near future! stay tuned. :) I'm going to geek about these things. It's going to happen. Hope you're interested ^_^

So that's what's been happening on the professional front. I've been trying to keep doodling in my spare time (which is all I have time for, at this point!) I really want to get back to Jellybots at some point, but it doesn't seem like now is going to be the time. In lieu of that I've been kind of sketch-journalling and persistently in love with Prussian Blue watercolor :p

Which brings me to another significant event of the last few weeks. I played my first ever game of Dungeons and Dragons. It was...amazing.

I work for a video-game company on an MMORPG, love the Renaissance Faire, and started an event at RISD called Thunderdome which is basically diet LARPing, but I have never played Dungeons and Dragons.

My girlfriend was actually the one who got me to consent to play. Reason #163 why she is the best. She was our veteran player, and her brother was our DM. It was a small party of 4 of us, and three were total noobs...he was very patient.

We set out to do it right- holed up in my dining room with a cache of pringles, cheetos, mountain dew, cookies, spaghetti and token carrots with hummus, for what wound up being a 10-hours-straight, 5am blitz.

I played a Halfling Rogue named Wren. Because hobbits matter very deeply to me and rogues are the best.

Over the course of the night we decided Steven's Dragonborn warrior was really a half-artichoke man, almost died ALL of the time and barely made it through some excruciatingly slow stop-and-explain newbie combat. We were so giddy and giggly by the end of the evening, it didn't matter. Except to Andeniede, who couldn't land a hit to save her (or our) lives.
A few hilarious (to us) scenarios and jokes came out of the evening, which inspired me (when I woke super late the next day, feeling like the cheetos and the mountain dew had forged an alliance in the night and were fighting their way up my esophagus in hopes of hurling themselves out of my face.) to do a few little doodles.

Because of popular demand (and because our DM refuses to oversee another adventure unless I post them) here are my D&D doodles :p

Next time, we're starting at noon and eating celery sticks.

Herschel the Half-Artichokian was a favorite character of mine.
I am particularly proud of his artichoke-frondy pectorals.

Yay! And because that's not nearly enough artwork, I'm just going to empty my sketchbook of watercolor doodles!

I've been rewatching and re-reading the Lord of The Rings (probably because I have Hobbit fever), and I'm just all-over-again in love with them. It's so easy to dismiss the series as stereotypical of the genre that it created, but it really is still just the greatest. Why? Because hobbits. But that's a whole different rant for another blog post, maybe. Still- it remains my greatest, deepest fandom :)
Most of these were drawn in a single sitting while watching The Two Towers on New Years' Eve (gosh, it HAS been a long time since I've posted!)

And some assorted other doodles for your viewing pleasure, and because you're all just so patient with me :)

Oh, and as of today this blog has exceeded 500 followers! which is a big deal to only me!

:D I'm really really thrilled to know that at least some small percentage of that number are out there reading my blathering and looking at my doodles. Hopefully if you stick around I'll make it worth your while by doing something neat! Thanks so SO much for all your comments and support over the last few years. It's been a great encouragement to be able to share and receive feedback on my work and my thoughts.

I hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long, and that you're all still out there reading! Thanks, and may God bless you and bring you peace!

Much love!

-n